Gingerbread Woman

Life is rubbish, with silver linings

So much to tell, and where to start?
I went to the circus, no ordinary ciurcus, cirque de soleil. It was beautiful, you'll not, I'm sure, be shocked to hear that not only did I fall in love with a troupe, but, it made me cry.
So did Brokeback mountain, so hard in fact that once the girls saw my post lights up face, in particular my mascara streaked chin, and giggled thus breaking the silence that had underlined my sobbing, I harumphed (you know that convulsive huh oo huh post crying / choking sound) and needed ten minutes to compose myself before being ready to leave the cinema.
March of the Penguins, you'll be pleased to hear, hardly made me cry at all.

So the hormones are up then.

I met a boy. Only I'm not sure he is a boy, well, I am sure he is but I'm not sure he thinks of himself as such.
He was a guy I had been emailing following my departure from Dating Direct. He was only looking for friends, I had stopped dating, we emailed fror 4 months, he screamed a lot about not wanting a relationship - I told him 'honey, I'm pregnant not desperate', and we met up. Naturally, I loved him.
He's a filmmaker, very unconventional, made my mind hurt. Used to be a Jehovah's witness, had lots of gender issues but could talk about the matriarchial / patriarchial leadership patterns of the Bonovor monkeys like no man I've ever met, oh, and he's married, in an open, we don't live together and we're not boyfriend and girlfriend way, to a poledancer.

We had a marvellous evening.
Then a brief email exchange in which I made it clear that I wasn't up for a 'freindship' like the range of other 'friendships' he described to me he had, and, naturally, I haven't heard from him since.

I'm not talking to my mum, or stepdad, or dad. It's a long story, but, suffice to say that between them they've made me cry more than Jake Gyllengorgeous did, so, having worked out that actually, all three of them are totally incapable of holding back on any level, and I can't take any more batterings right now, they've been popped in a box labelled 'uh huh - and I thought my hormones were haywire..'.
Naturally I'm gutted.

I'm selling my house, moving out of London and down to the sea.
My boss is trying to give half my job away because he sees the departure of my deputy as a chance to get another cheif, and has decided they'll need two people to carry on my job so I may as well just hand half over now.

I've said, fine, but send me on secondment somewhere then cos I'm not interested in half the role I am doing thanks very much... he hasn't replied.

So generally, in a nutshell, life has been pretty rubbish. Although

My birthday was beautiful. My friends were amazing. My sister was an angel.
I've got over the 'who'll adopt sproglet, please?' fear stage, and realised that actually, I do want to do this, and do this well.
I'm stopped vomiting, sleeping all the time, and am starting to feel human again.
It's good to know that, even in times of trouble, the silver linings are obvious.

posted by The Gypsy @ 5:31 pm