Christmas Wishes
happy christmas everyone.I am moving - as long promised, just haven't settled on a new blog title yet - promise to get it sorted before the new year.
This year has ended in the best possible fashion. I am heeding the very wise advice to not get too excited - sort of, but, just can't work out how to implement it. How do you keep yourself calm when something really exciting happens?
I met freddie's dad yesterday, I randomly sent him a text message asking him to meet me for coffee, and, after a year of not responding to such , admittedly infrequent, requests, he called. sod's law that after waiting a year for that call, I missed it. 4 times.
But called back and arranged to meet him.
He says he's sorry, that his head has been in the sand, but he's got a grip now. He says he wants to be involved, wants to meet fred, wants to be a decent parent. he says he hasn't got much to offer but he's working in a reptile centre, fulfilling his passion for all things animal, and he'll always be able to show his son giraffes and crocodiles and talk about blue toungued lizards and dolphins in depth. He says he's told his mum and a few decent friends. that he was mad with me for not asking him what we should do but telling him what I was going to do. he says he is only twenty five. I said 'yes, but you are 25, and that's not exactly a baby is it?'. I said I'd support him, make it easy for him, bend over backwards to facilitate a relationship with his son. I said he didn't need to make forever decisions until Freddie was old enough to remember him, he could just take it as it goes, get to know him, see how he feels, for now. I said his son is beautiful and smiley and giggly and a full on room lighter upper and i'm sure he'll adore him. Even though I'm a tad biased.
He says he's coming to visit in the new year. that he won't dissapear again. That he is a decent man. He says he loves kids and is brilliant with them.
Everyone else said 'keep your hopes in check'
Except mum who said that whilst she thought I'd done the right thing, all the right things, she worried that i was vulnerable and he was pretty and it could all go horribly pearshaped. I can see her point of view. I didn't want to fancy him, but I did. I'd like to say that I'm sure i can rise above that, and I am, but I'm not sure it will be easy. I'd just decided to start dating again, and just started chatting online to a lovely couple of local prospects as well, but I'm not sure I should do that either now. Frazer is still single. And by his own admission, he needs taking care of. I need to work out for myself how much of that I'm prepared to do in order to facilitate a relationship between him and Freddie, and where I need to draw the line. But, for now, I'm parking that to bask in the euphoria of what is certainly, progress. And, seeing if i can get myself a couple of dates with equally pretty, older, men whilst I wait, again, to hear from him.
posted by The Gypsy @ 10:51 pm
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